Personal Statement

Personal Statement

In this post it shows my progression from my first to final draft of my personal statement. Personal Statement is a document used when applying to universities and apprenticeships through UCAS it might be needed for jobs as well.

I researched and used resources provided to me on how to structure my personal statement and each paragraphs should have a different information in. College provided many different UCAS workshops which helped me a lot to understand the structure but also lectures checking my personal statement helped me improve immensely as they gave me much feedback. 

First Draft

Feedback received and action taken:

Advice Given:  "more specific about your interest"

Action Taken: I have talked more about how film is more of my interest in passion and how film has effected me. 

Advice Given: "Who are you inspired by?"

Action Taken: I added about how Joss Whedon inspired me to have an interest in the film and media industry as his work has inspired me and made me think I can also become like him.

Advice Given: " Do you see a future career in this area"

Action Taken: I stated that I can see myself in the industry as an producer or a director and how I can develop the skill set of becoming one.

Advice Given: "Examples of the campaigns you have worked on"

Action Taken: I add information about how college provide much client briefs for us to create many products for.

Second Draft

Feedback 

Advice Given: Talk more about who inspires you in the industry

Action Taken: I decided to talk more about Joss Whedon and how he had an big impact on me.

Advice Given: Talk more about the skills you developed

Action Taken: I add more information about how I developed skills with much of the software like photoshop, premiere pro and DaVinci

Advice Given: Rewrite last sentence as you do not feel confident

Action Taken:  Rewrote the sentence to make look more confident.

Third draft

Feedback

Advice given: Take out a few of highlighted sentences

Action taken: I took out the sentences and re wrote it to better

Advice Given: Add more information of skills you have gained

Action Taken: I add more about skills and responsibilities

Final Personal Statement used in my UCAS

After many drafts I have finally wrote my personal statement which stands up to my own standards but also I made sure that it is very professional as I want to make sure universities take me seriously in order for me to get an offer. 

I am very happy with the out came of my final personal statement as it explain who I am, what I can do and how I can benefit from the courses I have applied for.